Life gives us moments when we’re called to step back, reevaluate, and let go. A few years ago, I partied ways with a dear friend. I was no longer emotionally able to continue in this relationship. 

It has been and continues to be a testament to the courage it takes to prioritize our well-being, even when it means letting go of someone we love.

Grief, with its stories and dreams, is a natural companion in times of transition. We often associate grief with physical loss and death. But grief comes with all loss, including emotional, mental, spiritual, and perceived. Therefore, a loss of home, meaningful mementos, or relationships all come with grief. 

It’s essential to accept the grieving process. Losing friendships included, especially losing friendships included. 

Choosing not to rush past it but rather to honor it, to hold space for what’s been, to allow all the memories their run-times is crucial in moving on. It’s in this sacred space of acceptance that true healing begins.

Processing our experiences is not an indulgence. It’s not mocking death. It’s a necessity. 

Unprocessed pain, like a ghost, lingers in the shadows, ready to resurface when least expected. The aim is not to ‘get over it’ but rather ‘to make peace with it.’ This is the cornerstone of resilience.

Eva Fanari

When a friendship ends, it’s often because the trust is broken, and the pieces are too scattered and shattered for re-assembly. If you’re spiritually aware, your knee-jerk response may be to attempt forgiveness at all costs. Damn it, if it kills me, I’m going to forgive. The further we force forgiveness, the further from it we move. 

Getting over it, letting go, and radical forgiveness always need a predecessor: making peace with it.

For the healing to begin, you need to make peace with resentment, guilt, pain, obsession, thought loops, revenge, anger, and disappointment. You need to face them all, accept them all, and then love that part of yourself, too. 

Make no mistake, all these feelings are nothing but a part of you standing up for all of you.

Choosing to stand up for oneself is an act of profound self-love. It’s a recognition of one’s worth, a declaration that safety and security in a relationship are non-negotiables. The miracle is more than just finding a relationship that works. It’s also in finding the strength to accept the other person and yourself next to them with everything it entails. It’s the clarity to choose priorities and the ability to release.

At times, the release includes the relationship itself.

In human connections, sometimes, rejection is protection. It’s the universe’s way of guiding us toward a path that aligns with our most authentic selves. When we unapologetically pursue our desires, it may upset and disrupt those around us. But remember, it’s our right and obligation to step out of the entanglements pressing on our life energy. 

The box others have created for us may encroach on our dreams and well-being. It’s your responsibility to abandon it.

And when you do, you have the right to grieve your loss. 

Create your own box, a sacred space filled with prayers, dreams, and unyielding self-love. Stand firm in your boundaries, and yes, make others uncomfortable if it means staying true to your soul. Their discomfort is a testament to your bravery, a sign that you’re rewriting the rules, creating a narrative authentically yours.

The same applies to the loss of a relationship.

My relationship with my friend for many years no longer provided the safety and security I needed in a relationship. I grieve, dream about it, and have stories I hold close to my heart. I miss all the good parts of it. But I’m not going to justify the broken trust with the good; push past the un-safety or judge how I feel in the hope of getting back what once was. I will take myself through this journey and show up for myself every day.

If we don’t fully process our pain, it continues to linger and will pop up randomly even though we thought we were over it. Sometimes, we never get over it – that’s not even the goal. But we make peace with it, as I have made peace with my lost friendship.

So don’t feel you have no right to your decision when you stand up for yourself. You can support them, pray for them, and show up for them from a distance. But we can’t put our will onto someone else. We can only manifest for ourselves. 

When you can do that – show up for them from a distance, you’re close to peace. It’s not about seeking validation or accolades. It’s about emanating from a place of genuine service, where the act becomes a wellspring of abundance.

When faced with giving and receiving, of letting go and holding on, remember that abundance isn’t merely measured in what we gain but in what we give of ourselves and to ourselves. It’s in the genuine, heartfelt moments of service to ourselves as much as to others that we discover the true richness of life. So let’s continue to show up, not out of obligation, but out of love – for ourselves as well.