The modern trends in the art of negotiation focus on 3 aspects of communication: words, tone of voice, and body language.

This simplistic view of human interactions and persuasion, especially in how we negotiate to get what we need and want, is baffling.

Communication is a way more complex process than those 3 aspects. Among the many other aspects that go beyond (or below) the above-mentioned 3 are personal, psychological, social, mystical, and cultural conditioning and experiences.

Keeping that in mind, what you should always keep in mind when negotiating on any level – business, personal, or family, is the following.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone. For better or for worse.

For the most part, you’ve barely figured yourself out, if that. It’s not your job to figure others out (unless you’re licensed to do so), diagnose them, or tell them how they can fix themselves.

You don’t know how long their journey has been to stand where you stand, and how much their wounds from the travel still bleed. You don’t know the depth of abysses they’ve had to travel through. You don’t know the height of obstacles they’ve had to overcome to get to where they are now.

They could be in the middle of it.

You don’t know the extent of setbacks they’ve had to endure, or stalls and standstills they’ve experienced, all in place to test their patience.

Their patience may be tied up elsewhere.

Furthermore, you don’t know where on the road you’re meeting them. Just because you perceive yourself as lower than they, doesn’t mean you’re moving in different directions. Just because you perceive yourself to be higher than they, doesn’t determine whether they are on their way down, and you up.

It could be reversed.

When all is said and done, you’ll never know someone else’s furthest starting point. And no matter where it is, it’s always a distance away from yours.

Eva Fanari

No two souls have the same experience. They’re right where they need to be.

You’re right where you need to be.

The only way you can get closer to an understanding is through humble curiosity – the kind that seeks to allow, and not push; that seeks to understand, and not investigate.

Humble curiosity.