• Forgiveness: 2 Wings of the Same Bird

    The cardinal rule of forgiving others is this: in order to forgive others, you have to forgive yourself as well. These two aspects of forgiveness are like the two wings of the same bird. With one wing still broken, you can’t escape. To fully understand why it is that way, come to my bedroom for a moment. I know, it’s a loaded statement, but trust me, it’s completely innocent. Imagine a regular weekday morning at 6 am. If you were to look over the edge of my bed, this is what you would see: That nose belongs to my dog Rex who is patiently waiting for his morning stroll in…

  • The Truth About Why We Disagree

    Have you ever read a book where they tell the same story from the point of view of different characters? Those are awesome books, aren’t they?! I love those books because suddenly we see the same story in a different way. Books aside, every story of every minute of every life can be told in many different ways. But because our information from other people is limited, we only know our own version, and make judgments and decisions based on filling in the blanks with material from our own experiences.   In short, we assume. What we assume is dependent on our past – the parts of the past that…

  • Bee the Action!

    The bees have understood something profound about life. I was watering my garden yesterday, and even though I go to great lengths to avoid spraying the many bees who have come to work on my flowers, I still managed to soak one of them.I found the bee on the grass, its butt wet and wings sticky with water, trying to climb up the blades. How can one help a wet bee? Blow-dry them? Use a towel? I don’t think so. My point was to help, and not aggravate. And definitely not kill. The least I could do was help the bee back on a flower. Maybe the sun and breeze…

  • Joy Is a Choice

    I’ve over a thousand Facebook friends. It’s impossible to have that many friends, so to be honest, most of them are just acquaintances, or more like acquaintances of acquaintances. Say what you may about Facebook, but once in awhile it does teach you a lesson that’s way deeper than ‘7 ways to cut a watermelon.’ A month ago one of those acquaintances of acquaintances posted a meme on a topic of politics and religion.   I disagreed with it – the general nature of it, the language used, the intentions applied. So I thought it wise to express my opinion. Oh yeah, I went there! This now turned into a…

  • To Nurture a Friendship

    What’s your social network like? Is it a truly social club? Or is it your real-life mastermind group? Are these people your greatest fans? Or is your main draw a good round of gossip? It really doesn’t matter what it’s like. What matters is that you have one. Whenever I think of our real-life social networks, it reminds me of forests. Some are better groomed than others. Some are pricklier than others. Some are more orderly and less crazy than others. Some have been ravaged by recent storms, and it’s up in the air whether they will make a comeback. Usually, they do, with careful grooming of the survivors. Yet…

  • Is Celebrating Mediocrity Mediocre?

    When my son was 5, his soccer team always made sure that every kid in the team got a trophy. Even the kid who rarely showed up. And the one who was more engrossed in chasing bugs in the grass than the ball. Celebrating mediocrity? “Celebrating mediocrity,” commented a Dad of a kid who was a promising player already at the age of 5. I used to be of the same mindset – not everyone needs a trophy. Let’s celebrate the ones who really put in the effort and actually show significant results and improvement. In short, what that mindset believes is that only the best are worthy of public…

  • Holidays – Stress or Bliss?

    “I don’t know what’s worse – the stress of the holidays, or the stress of everyone around me complaining about the stress of the holidays?” My friend sat down across from me for an early morning coffee at a coffee shop, her hair a mess and coat buttons mismatched. “It’s 6 am and someone already complained?” I asked. “This morning, it was the radio.” I had heard that, too. The radio station had shared the fact that Christmas music played early causes a stress-response in most people, followed by people calling in to complain about it further. For my friend, the night before it had been her Mom complaining about…

  • A Shortcut To Self-Kindness

    What if I told you that being kind to yourself begins with being negative? Let me explain. On a weekday, I usually have breakfast at 7am, and lunch around, well, lunchtime. But a few weeks ago, as I was zoned into my daily duties after breakfast, I suddenly felt really hungry. Not like give-me-an-apple or a-few-almonds type of hungry, but a soup-ribs-cheesecake kind of hungry. Lurking around in the kitchen I noticed that it was exactly 8:42 am. Wow, I had finished eating a full-blown breakfast 1.5 h ago, and lunch was 2-3 hours away. What’s a woman to do? Grab a snack? Yep, because right then and there I…

  • Is It A Sign?

    So, is it? A sign from dimensions beyond our comprehension? Or is it just a coincidence when you see an unusual “thing” in your daily happenings? How would you know? How would anyone know? The first time I REALLY pondered on this topic was on my Dad’s birthday after he had passed. My husband and I went for a walk in the desert of New Mexico with our dog Rex. “It would have been my Dad’s birthday today,” I said, as all my life energy poured out of my feet into the sand and slithered into the vastness of the mesa, like a snake. The air sat still, the clouds…

  • What Prevents You From Being Less Judgmental?

    The person who’s the most affected by judgment is the person who’s doing the judging. Every time you judge, you internalize the energy of that situation. In other words, you are investing your life force on something you disapprove of to begin with. So why do we judge if it’s bringing us down? My husband and I were walking the dog. We were on our way back home which meant that we were all a bit tired, a bit calmer, a bit relaxed. I reached my hand out to hold my husband’s hand. Now, he’s bigger than I am. Thus, his steps are longer and his speed differs. Do you…